The George Michael Bluth
George Michael is an interesting character. If his confidence were any lower, he would burrow into work under the floorboards. He is a smart guy, and capable of doing decent work, which he thankfully does and that makes work-life easier for those on his team. But someone from maintenance emptying his barrel could make him believe he was about to be fired by simply giving him a look. You have seen him be taken advantage of repeatedly as those who wish to pawn work off on him, do so without having to beg, or sometimes even ask. They just mention how much they have to do, and George Michael hops to, offering to take it off their plate to help alleviate their stress. Like taking commissary from a new prisoner, George Michael has become the ultimate victim. You have tried to function as a mentor to him, encouraging him to stand up for himself, be more confident, and take responsibility for his work only, and stop working sixty hours a week doing the work of others when he has enough to do himself. He of course apologizes repeatedly for having to take up your time with him, which you accept…and then give him a few of your assignments to finish up since he’ll be here until ten o’clock tonight anyway.
The Lindsay Bluth-Funke
Lindsay is somehow in charge of a small team, despite a personality that is as off-putting as a band-aid in a hot tub. She was given a pseudo-leadership role for one reason and one reason only. Her father is the big boss who paid a fortune to get her through college, while also realizing that she was unlikely to get through an interview process. Thus, if he didn’t give Lindsay a job, she would never leave home and lead her own life. While you detest nepotism at any company, you like the boss, and completely relate to the decision. You would probably do the same thing. But this is the gift, or mistake, that keeps on giving. She is terrible at her job, doesn’t work very hard, in and out of the office, and often travels around the world on the company dime under the guise of ‘business development’. While you hate everything she stands for, you are green with envy for what she has been given, often lamenting the fact that you were not born with the same fortune. But you know that is more about you than her, and the worst part is that she will never admit, and truly does not realize, that she is only where she is thanks to her old man.
The Gob Bluth
Gob was only here a brief time. He didn’t last because he hated the job right out of the gate and did everything to avoid work at every turn. He was as funny and entertaining as they come, able to give everyone a laugh in the breakroom, in meetings, and if he were in any way effective at his job, would have been someone you enjoyed working with because he breaks up the day with his comedy. Gob seemed to have taken the job because someone made him. You hear he comes from some familial wealth, which is infuriating yet makes sense based on your experience with entitled and indulged offspring. You are glad his stint was brief, as you know his superficiality would have driven you to drink. Thanks to the short stay you actually have mostly fond memories of his time here. Unlike many office-comedians his showmanship saw him get off stage before the giant cane emerged to pull him off.
The Lucille Bluth
Lucille is another family hire from years earlier and has managed to stay on for decades despite having little understanding of your business nor what it takes to run it successfully. She first came into the company in an administrative capacity. She was moved along to several roles believing she should be much higher up yet proved to be unsuccessful at each stop until being moved along again. After trying her hand at leadership, which saw a near-mutiny ensue, she was put in HR where lack of knowledge or understanding of people is encouraged. Unfortunately, she again flamed out after giving out bonuses without permission among other poor decisions. She seems nice enough on the surface, but you can see that she believes she is better than just about everyone, and even talking to you and your team is a bit below her station. You see through it all and know who she is and why she is, and also that it won’t be long before she receives a tidy golden parachute and moves on to what will be her most successful title yet– retiree.
The Michael Bluth
Michael is the manager of the group. You like him, as does everyone, because his leadership style makes him easy to work with and he is as consistent as they come. Just what you hope for in a manager. He is so even keeled you feel like he walks through his work life, possibly his personal life, asleep. Michael is very bright, always knows what to do, having been in business and your industry a long time. He has seen it all, little surprises him, which is a good thing because it means there are few surprises for everyone else. People generally don’t like change, and Michael fits that bill. He is not the best with change, and therefore looks to keep things the same, which most of his team appreciates, also wanting things to remain as they are for as long as possible. Still, business is constantly changing in spite of people’s wishes, and it is up to Michael to find the energy and change-management skill to get everyone there. He is generally able to make it happen but is a painful process as Michael is good with people, but not great with confrontation. When changes are afoot, people can get angry, and where Michael tends to shrink, opting to let people vent a bit too much, creating animosity in the office, which hurts everyone. He needs more of a backbone if he’ll ever get further in his career, but you believe Michael may be too far along in his career to think he is capable of such a major change in his approach, and thus likely to stay where he is for the long haul.
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