Characters We Work With – Curb Your Enthusiasm
The Susie Greene
The Susie is a ball of fire wrapped up in stylish outfits, a lot of jewelry, and about 90% of the time, she is a delight to work with. It is the other 10% of the time that a little something happens in her day that sees Susie go from 0 to 100 in a flash. She loves to have an audience, where she can share a story about something funny, at least to her, that happened at home or while out to dinner. And should she be interrupted or overtalked by someone who missed what is going on – It’s On. With the hurricane force you see in a road rage incident, Susie will unleash a tirade on the perpetrator that will often include profanity, a lot of volume, and a fair amount of spittle. Her resilience is amazing, as she quickly is back to normal just minutes later while you and the rest ponder, privately of course, how she has not been directed to go to anger management or been fired for any one of a dozen outbursts that everyone is aware of. And then you realize, everyone in position to do so is scared to death to broach the subject with her. She will surely outlast you and everyone until she wants to move on, so the smart thing to do is find a way to deal with it.
The Jeff Greene
Jeff has incredible presence in the office and everywhere he goes. You see and often hear him coming in or walking through the workplace, never missing an opportunity to connect with people in a loud and boisterous manner. Shattering the confidence-meter, Jeff is commonly mistaken as an executive or board member by those who didn’t already know him, causing new people to whisper after he passes ‘who is that?’. And your answer is always the same, which is to launch a fairly pronounced eyeroll, muttering ‘It’s only Jeff…’. You then follow it up with, ‘he’s actually a nice guy’. And he is and has a good relationship with everyone, and deep down you wish you had some Jeff in you. His self-confidence is other-worldly, and you feel that if you had 10% of it, you’d be running the company.
The Ted Danson
Ted is the guy that is beloved by all and can seemingly do no wrong. Everyone loves when they’re assigned a project with Ted, knowing that for the duration they will be looked at like they are part of the popular crowd just for spending extended time up close and personal with Ted. Ted is good at his job, no better or worse than most of your colleagues. You can actually recall him making mistakes, and other times when he acted petty or spiteful but did so in such a passively aggressive way, it seems no one noticed. With a mix of decent work and sometimes immature behavior, you would think he wouldn’t be so highly regarded, but he is. Give up thinking others will buy into him being anything but great. He’s the ‘Teflon-Don’ of the office – just sit back and enjoy the show.
The Marty Funkhouser
Marty is what is referred to as a ‘legacy employee’. No matter whom you talk to, Marty was here long before them. He knows literally everyone, from those in a position of power and influence, VPs and VIPs and any respective family members, to the concierge at the hotel bar around the block that knows Marty and will care for anything he needs. Somehow, they all seem to ‘owe him one’. No one knows what he’s done to curry such favor with the workplace glitterati, but anything he needs is a phone call or corner office pop in away. Much like the Ted, you are wise to stay connected with Marty, as being in good with him will pay untold dividends of access and cache that would take you years to earn on your own.
The Larry David
Larry is the obvious odd duck around the office. You know what he does and see him as he fills up his water bottle, using the copier, or having lunch in the cafeteria, and no matter the activity he’s engaged in he always exudes an air of dissatisfaction. It’s not quite a smug look as much as it is a look you would have if your color copies all came out pink. It’s not the end of the world, but if the world were to end you could hear him utter ‘eh, so be it’. In most meetings, Larry will say nothing through most of it until the end, when all the questions have been asked, decisions have been made, complete with nods of approval around the table, at which point you’ll hear what sounds like a creaking door. It’s Larry, and he is going to restate most of what’s been decided with a level of skepticism. He finally reveals what he thinks should be done, which is exactly what he thought before the meeting started because the discussion that just wrapped up has of course had no impact on him. In fairness though, he tuned out most of the discussion anyway.
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